Torture Your Favorite Yaoi Couple Meme
by Mugi's Eyebrows
Summary: I DO NOT OWN THIS MEME. I got it from sweet-and-simple. I'm using it because I'm pro like that. Includes serious RyoHiba, crack, and clear evidence of writer's block. I don't own KHR or ANY of it's characters. R&R


**I totally stole this meme from**_** sweet-and-simple **_**because of it's epicness. xD Beware: This will contain crack.**

I. Hi! Who are you, what's your star sign, pin number, zip code, yada, yada, …

Your mom might know me. *wiggles eyebrows*

II. Interesting! So, who are the two ~ lucky ~ souls you're gonna torture? Some info on their relationship?

Ryohei and Hibari...you better make this quick, I can't keep Hibari tied up forever.

III. Yay! First have the uke eat some vanilla ice-cream covered in whipped cream messily in front of his seme, being all innocent and oblivious. The seme can do nothing about it!

Hibari shifted in his chair, a frown set on his currently pink face, and reached over to turn up the fan sitting on a chair next to him. Just that morning, his air conditioner broke, forcing Hibari to wait until tomorrow for Spanner to show up and fix it in this unnatural heat wave.

"OI, HIBARI! I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU!" Hibari glanced up from his paper work which was so rudely interrupted by the annoying Sun Guardian in front of him, a growl rumbling from his throat. This would be the fifth time that blasted idiot barged into his home today, making Hibari an even more of bastard than he normally was.

"Fuck, what is it NOW Ryohei? Can't it wait?" Hibari snarled, gesturing at the piles of paper work on his desk. Why did the moron insist on bothering him now of all days to break into the Cloud Guardian's home?

"DEFINITELY NOT! THIS PRESENT I HAVE FOR YOU IS EXTREMELY PERFECT FOR TODAY!" Ryohei shouted, making Hibari reach for his tonfa only to draw back. Why would he even waste his energy on this idiot, much less in this unbearable heat? Hibari sighed in defeat, looking up at Ryohei expectantly.

Ryohei grinned, knowing he finally won, and produced a crisp convenience store bag. Hibari quirked a brow, waiting for the idiot to proposed that they drink together.

"I BOUGHT SOME EXTREMELY COOL ICE CREAM TODAY! IT WAS ON AN EXTREME BUY ONE GET ONE FREE SALE, SO I DECIDED TO GET IT!" Ryohei cheered, eyes bright. 'Only Ryohei', Hibari thought miserably.

"That's great Ryohei, but I hate sweets." Hibari muttered, reaching for his pen to continue paperwork. "That's no problem! You don't have to eat it." Ryohei chimed, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Ryohei tugged popped open one of the small containers, licked a large dollop into his mouth, and pressed his lips to HIbari's.

Hibari opened his mouth to protest, giving Ryohei the opportunity to slip his tongue and ice cream into his stony partner's mouth. Hibari's senses were overthrown by a combination of sweet vanilla and Ryohei's taste. He moaned softly, his hands seeking Ryohei's shoulders, the heat completely forgotten.

Ryohei seperated from Hibari, a huge grin on his face. He reached down into the bag again and produced...a large can of whipped cream.

Hibari tackled Ryohei, heat be damned.

IV. Heheh… Seme's turn! Have him do a striptease in front of his uke. The uke is NOT allowed to move or look away!

I think I'd rather not...*not good at striptease scenes*

I mean, unless you guys are down with bad techno and Village People costumes.

V. DAMN! Now then, don't ask questions, just write about both of them in the most girly dresses you can think of!

Pink lace and ruffles...chiffon and silk...Hibari stared at himself in the mirror, hearing I-Pin and Haru giggle with complete pleasure at his expense. It was so...girly. He stared at the frilly abomination called a 'dress' that hugged his flat chest and ribs, ribbons flouncing about all over the place.

Ryohei, however, was probably off even worse than him. Let's just say that Gothic-Lolita is NOT his style. Especially if you let Pantera do the designing.

VI. Cute~! Now, anyone your seme hates? Draw that person ALL OVER the seme! He's not allowed to do anything about it, either! Mwa hah hah! (Author's Note: This could be interpreted many ways…)

"THIS IS EXTREMELY NOT COOL!" Ryohei shouted, glaring at the green-haired bastard infront of him. He and the idiot had been locked into a small closet and had been there for a few hours by now. Poor Ryohei was pressed together the other boxer, only wishing he and Hibari were in this kind of situation.

"Oh, shut up! I don't like this any more than you do!" the other growled, gesturing at their positions. Both were ready to punch holes through each other until they heard a heavenly little click from the door. The door opened letting fresh, cool air into the all but spacious closet and revealed an amused looking Adelheid and a more than furious Hibari.

"Aoba, what are you doing so close to _my herbivore_?"

VII. We all know ukes are cute and adorable, right? Let's change it up a bit… Write about the uke in the most OOC way you can possibly think of!

"Ryohei darling, I've drawn the bath!~ Come on, I'll wash you back!~"

'Nough said.

VIII. Now, just because I'm evil, write about them feeling each other up where ever either one of them is most uncomfortable!

Hibari choked back another moan, biting one of his knuckles while the other fisted Ryohei's uniform. "Ryohei...ahn! N-no, not here you idiot!" He gasped out, his body suddenly pressing against said boxer's chest.

"Why not Hibari?" Ryohei chuckled, his fingers already probing Hibari's tight ring of muscles. "Your body doesn't seem to mind..."

"That's because we're in the locker room you idiot, anyone could-" Hibari's back suddenly arched and a loud keening noise escaped his mouth. He went to strech his hand to cover it but was held down by Ryohei, the boxer's physical strength easily trumping Hibari considering the position he was in.

"Ah, ah, ah~ I want to hear you until the very end." Ryohei sang, his free fingers flicking pert, pink nipples.

"Ryohei...ngh, you bastard..."

IX. I'm running out of ideas, sooo… Any last words? (Or write something to show us how sick you are). (Author's Note: Again, this could be taken in many different ways~)

"_HERBIVORE, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I'M LETTING YOU SPANK ME!_"

X. Thanks for doing this meme! It was my first! ^-^ Now tag some people! Mwa hah hah!

I don't know anybody to tag...who even READS this?

**Yeah, once again, it was REALLY late when I got around to writing this. Thus, it is probably filled with mistakes. R&R hos'**


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